Editor's note: In an effort to enlighten your day, we now offer a weekly ponderance or two . . .

Slim chance for the latest swipe at obesity

Michelle Obama and the USDA have unveiled the government's image makeover icon for the long-standing food pyramid symbol, making their case to fight obesity in seven simple sentences at www.choosemyplate.gov. The pyramid has been replaced by a food plate symbol.

So, half of the plate is covered by fruits and veggies and you should "enjoy your food, but eat less." OK, although we've heard that before, we'll give it a perfunctory shot. But really, we in the developed world will continue to wait on the no-effort-at-all magic diet pill. Even the magical medical devices must take too much effort, as lap bands, jaw-wiring and electronic impulse stomach implants have failed to significantly shrink our waistlines.

But, OK, let's give the plate a try, even though the food pyramid, über-dieting, bariatric surgery, hypnotism, gym memberships, preaching/taunting, mirrors, supermodels, and even death have failed to arrest the urge-scourge afflicting our supersizing-sweet-tooth-just-chilling-out society.

The war on non-hereditary obesity has followed the path of the war on illegal drugs down the rabbit black-hole. Obesity is not incurable; the cure is just unendurable: exercise, healthy diet and . . . oh, just forget it. Just do what the plate says!

– Michael J. Harris, Fun Facts Editor

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